January 1st vs May 2nd
January 1st represents a 365 and ¼ day journey around the sun. One year comes to a close, another is just beginning. It is a fresh start, a collective opportunity for each of us to begin again and do better than we did on our last trip. The smell of cold air is invigorating. I feel alive with possibility.
THIS could be the year!
May 2nd represents another 365 day around the sun. This May 2nd, will mark the 40th anniversary of my personal journey around the sun. As my age grows by one number I will inevitably reflect on everything I’ve yet to accomplish from my long list of grand aspirations. I don’t tend to have the same optimism as I did just 5 months and one day earlier, at the start of the year.
What does one year mean?
I can’t remember if I ever liked my birthday. I can’t remember if I always liked the turn of the New Year. It’s interesting that one year can mean one thing on one date, and another thing on another date.
It’s just an arbitrary date but it can have such a profound impact on one’s mood. I’m energized early in the year, ready to conquer new challenges. I hunger for adventure, and welcome attention and connection. Yet on my birthday, I’m reminded of the sand slipping through the hourglass. I feel more pressure to work, to accomplish, to succeed, yet I have less energy to do it. On my birthday, I tend to feel deflated, defeated, and depressed. I don’t welcome the attention. I try to avoid the connection. I tend to just want to let the day slip by.
But friends, please do not worry about me because like clockwork, by May 3rd, I’m right as rain, ready to get back on the horse. After all, it’s just an arbitrary date.
This year, if I’m lucky, my daughter will be born ON my birthday (she’s currently due on May 1). If it turned out that way, it would be among the most wonderful things that could happen to me, because I’d never want to ignore that day again ever again.
Keep your fingers crossed for me. Happy New Year.